BREAKING NEWS!!!!

May be an image of text that says "And in other news we have 6 nut allergies in Twizel, a case of Tourette's in Greymouth, 9 erectile dysfunctions in Levin, 11 stoned teens teens in Raglan, 4 splinters in Whitianga, 23 mozzie bites in Kerikeri and a seagull shat on a bloke in Akaroa. Stay safe!"
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