In Auckland it is a long weekend and as an unvaccinated pale stale male, I have plunged to the depths of the (un)popularity status.

I am the preverbal fart in a space suit. You will be able to recognise me walking down the street as I will not have a mask on my face. Rather, it will be masking my unkempt hair.

For it is not my infection status that now makes me a threat, but rather my vaccination status. My unwillingness to participate in an incomplete trial medical treatment, has placed me squarely in the undesirables section of society.

As second rate citizens we now cannot get a haircut, go to the pub, dine or go to concerts. It would be easy to do a test to check if we are potentially infected and rightly stay away if we are. But that would interfere with the rights of the vaccinated. They can go out regardless of if they are infectious or not as they have had the jab and now have the right to be infected and go out. And more importantly, must be protected from the unvaccinated.

According to the podium of truth, the virus will seek out the unvaccinated , it will find us no matter where we are and knock on our door. I never knew the virus was a Mormon, but that would make sense coming from Ardern – after all it takes one to know one.

Imagine the scene if a vaccinated person was denied entry to a gig because they were infectious, “don’t you know who I am?” Would be heard from several blocks away. After all why did they bother getting a vaccine if it didn’t stop them not being able to do what they want regardless of if they were infectious or not. It’s the uninflected unvaccinated scum that is the problem. How dare you not be infected, don’t you know who you are?

So we can’t test to ascertain if we are infected before going to a concert as an unvaccinated outcast, as we know that would impact on the rights of the vaccinated. They have earned the right to go out and enjoy their favourite band. A headline you will never see, “unvaccinated people allowed in concert for not being infectious while the vaccinated are turned away”

There would be a public outcry and the venue owner would be lynched.

So protected the vaccinated need to be, you know because they are vaccinated and need protection from what they are vaccinated against. Don’t you see the logic?

It’s different if a vaccinated person catches it from another vaccinated person while at a concert, because you know, they got the jab and are the same first rate citizens. Heaven forbid if they caught it from someone who didn’t have the jab, we’ll it would be dirty and yucky and what would daddy say.

Every parents nightmare will be if their rebellious daughter runs of with a disgusting unvaccinated boy. Don’t bring his kind round here and his filthy virus, and don’t expect me to pay for the wedding.

Yes second rate citizens we are, out kind of COVID ain’t as good as the vaccinated kind. Theirs is gentle and fluffy and you can keep them as pets.

So don’t expect to be accepted anywhere soon. If you haven’t been disowned by both your parents, siblings or children, you may get a secret Zoom call from one every now and then, just to check in what it’s like on the dark side.

That is until we are no longer allowed the internet for fear of showing that we haven’t been sought out and received that knock on the door by the bycivle riding viruses that come in pairs. What a viral load that would be.

Soon it will be us that need protecting from the vaccinated. Special camps for us to take part in scientific experiments. “How’s that for an untested medical procedure now?” The scientists will laugh.

How far away are we from that outcome, with Führer Ardern ?