Merry Christmas and happy new year Planet B

So as 2021 draws to an end, we can get a glimpse of what ’22 will bring.

let’s Start with Austria who in February will have a new police force hired as “vaccination hunters.” Their task is to seek out those who dare not be vaccinated.

They are now hiring inspectors, who next year will hand out fines to those that have not been jabbed. what is next? they go around and give jabs on the spot.

“vat have ve here hmm, only had ze eins, zwei, drei jabs you Schweinehund? I vill administer immediately your vier, funf, sechs and for ze good measure your seiban acht and neun.”

Well done Austria.

Closer to home

Ardern on her, here’s my face Facebook “hear it from the horses mouth” moment. was this week telling her adoring fans (and Amanda) the story of how the three jabs is like a learning experience. The first jab is like going to kindergarten where your body learns about the virus and can get ready to take it on. The second jab is like primary school and the third jab is high school where it gets more sophisticated and can deal with variants more successfully. Riiiiight.

Can’t wait for the story of the 4th jab, where its like your first job interview for your dream job and whilst making it to the final three applicants you miss out because they have a cultural policy and have to hire the Somali immigrant to show more diversity on their Facebook page.

The fifth jab will be like finding out uncle Jerry couldn’t keep his hands to himself when he was coaching the under 15 netball team and when he went to jail you had to take over his gutter cleaning business but now everyone in the community calls you the fiddler on the roof.

The sixth will be like when you go through your first divorce and find you no longer own your home but your ex has already moved a new partner in after . Meanwhile you have to go flatting with an angry bus driver with a long beard who insists on being called Banga the Masha who leaves clumps of hair in the shower every morning that he affectionately refers to as his sack dags.

Seven will be like still having to visit the in-laws of your ex every Christmas for the sake of the kids. Having to listen for hours why your ex’s new partner is so wonderful and much better for their daughter than you ever were, all while he is out playing golf with his buddies with your old golf clubs.

And eight… who the fuck knows what eight will be like, because hopefully by then everyone has woken up to the fact its all a big con, but you still live with Banga the Masha who won’t even let you on the bus for free anymore to your in-laws house because you threw away his favourite sack dag collection he was drying in the air fryer you purchased in the 73rd lock down.

Traffic light system

By mid ’22, 90% of the country will still not understand the traffic light system and 17% of the country will now not even know how actual traffic lights work anymore as we are all as confused to fuckery on what the difference between traffic lights are


Medsafe will no doubt still list just one fatality as being linked to the vaccine, but included in the COVID fatality list will be something like a Tibetan monk throat singer who choked on a wasp as he gulped in enough air to finish the second verse of Bohemian rhapsody but the wasp tested positive to COVID so the monk is listed as a close contact which is close enough for medsafe.


The government will send us into lock down so they can pass more laws through urgency such as three waters, four jab vaccine passports, five year elections, six month old require mandatory vaccines, seven new COVID restriction, eight new taxes, nine climate change policies and 10 ways to dob in your neighbour.

Any way it certainly was an even weirder year than 2020, as now we have legitimised reasons to hate our fellow citizens on a medical grounds, the bill of rights was tossed into the oil and gas exploration bucket and without a passport to go to your local hairdresser the unvaccinated will stick out as much as Banga the Mashers hairy balls.

I’m sure this Government won’t fail to raise eyebrows next year. hold on tight its going to be a wild ride

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