Question 1

The Propaganda Facilitators reported today that the Gummint is paying Amazon incentives to move to NZ.  Some thoughts on this are…

1. Funding private enterprise for the richest man in the world who has an abysmal record on employee rights  makes perfect sense – to the richest man in the world
2. This is consistent with the National Socialist philosophy of purchasing low income jobs.
3. Like the issuance of the Railways contracts to overseas contractors, NZ retailers needed a kick in the nuts, just to help them along to the Dole queue.
4. I wonder who is getting the kickback because this really makes no sense at all otherwise?
5. We don’t sail a yacht, we are not billionaires, we are not Labour party flunkies… how do the rest of get to suck on the tit of this gummint? (other than join the growing list of beneficiaries)

Question 2

JS has made a heart-warming statement saying NZ is going to commit vaccines to help countries that are worse off than us

1. I haven’t stopped laughing because if the success of the donation is based on their ability to build houses, we will be making a withdrawal from that same vaccine pool shortly
2. Much like us going backwards on Climate change,  what she says and what she does are completely at odds with each other.  This was just an just an international presser really – rest of the world is laughing too JA – even they have worked out you’re all talk no substance.
3. Are we also going to lend them our Fucked MIQ and vaccination rollout models
4. ‘You’re a liar’

Question 3

Mathew Hooten, a prime mover in the field of Propaganda assimilation and former in house propagandist at the National Party, offered some friendly advice to nationals ‘Deer in the headlights’ Judith.  It included…

1. Avoid the Mullock (even though he’s my best mate)
2. Be nice to Simon he will give you another job when you’re outta that one
3. Jump
4. If you get pushed, don’t push back (remember its only g*y s*x when if push back – hey toys and all that, we are not judgemental here)

Question 4

I just got asked a question by a US citizen who is living here but looking to risk Covid addled America rather than stay here. Taking away sport and being a pretty place to live, what is NZ currently actually good at?

1. We produce some of the dumbest and most opinionated politicians in the world
2. Like those politicians (and the weatherman), you can be a complete fuck up but you get to keep your job.
3. We have lots of race based public holidays and are hypocritical enough to ignore the inconsistencies and woke crappisms
4. We are good at going backwards in almost every way (debt mountains from the 1970’s, housing policies from the 1930’s, hell our most successful Olympic sport involves sitting on your arse and sliding backwards)

Question 5

Questions not to ask if you are taking advantage of the Trans-Tasman Bubble

1. Is 40 a normal temperature when you have hay fever?
2. Do I have to have my plastic explosive in any sort of special case to protect it from Covid?
3. Where can I bend over and kiss JA’s arse because (to satisfy her sad need for political capital and control) she is letting me do something I have done thousands of time hassle free?
4. Oops my Covid is acting up again

Question 6

The Propaganda Facilitators have advised that there is a 75% chance of an earthquake in the south Island in the next 50 years

This led us to consider other statistical probabilities.  Rank the following

1. 0% chance of Megan Woods succeeding successfully in tinkering in the power markets
2. 0% chance of Judith Collins leading the National party at the next election
3. 100% chance Labour will have F*cked up the covid again and we will start importing good quality Aussie Covid and go back into lockdown
4. 100% chance this very question will be deemed hate speech

Quote of the Day – Winston to JA (our first actual non-bastardised quote)

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm

Winston Churchill 1943

(our first actual non-bastardised quote – and perhaps the most relevant)